Pushing Daisies

Olive: Oh, you were very loud. After all the commotion I peeped my peeper out the peep hole.

Olive: I also heard you walking the streets and moaning her name like in a Tennessee Williams. Romantic, but not very dignified.

Narrator: Olive Snook had been delivering pies for weeks, not realizing she was a homeopathic drug mule.

Coroner: My niece gave me this sweater.
Emerson: That thing’s uglier then a chipmunk’s ass.
Ned: He means the sweater, not your niece.

Emerson: Why would somebody give somebody a Christmas sweater for Christmas? You can only wear it that day.
Ned: He means should. Only wear it that day.
Emerson: Yeah. Either you got to take off what you got on to put it on. Or you got wait another year for the next holiday season.
Coroner: Why are you going toe-to-toe with me on fashion?

Coroner: Rent feels a little light.
Emerson: Maybe you’re just getting stronger.

Vivian: Thank you very much for lighting our furnace so Charlotte’s ghost wouldn’t have to.
Ned: Am I leaving?
Lily and Vivian: Yes!

Photo courtesy of Pushing-Daisies.Com

Olive: Did he beat you?
Chuck: No.
Olive: Did he look like he wanted to beat you?

Ned: But do you hate me?
Chuck: I have to hate you a little, just for a little while. But I can’t do that if you stay.
Ned: I don’t want you to hate me, I’ll stay.
Chuck: If you stay, I’ll just end up hating you more. Just go.

Emerson: I’m a father.
Ned: As in a priest?
Emerson: As in a man… with a daughter.

Emerson: The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous. It’s very fragile. It could take a life time to sort out all the issues there. And what you think? You can just all “happily ever after” after just one minute? Man, you a dreamer.

Emerson: Would you quit wiggle-worting? You’re steaming up the windows and giving neighbours the wrong idea.

Ned: It’s carbon monoxide poising. Someone put a potato in our tailpipe
Emerson: Oh lord. Please tell me I ain’t dead.
Ned: You’re not dead
Emerson: I can be not dead longer than a minute?
Ned: There are no minutes involved. You’ll continue to not be dead until you’re dead. But I’ve never undeaded you at any point.

Emerson: We are giant, enormous idiots. And don’t you say ‘ginormous’ because that ain’t a word.

Corpse: If I’m dead, why are you the one with the long face? Let me guess: girl problems?
Emerson: Hell no.
Corpse: Hell yes. I can see it in his eyes.

Emerson: The wish-a-wish lady.
Ned: She’s a kill-a-killa.

Ned: You don’t have to do this, Madeleine. Please put the gun and the bat down. Or definitely the gun.

Teen: I said ladpdance, not tapdance!

Aunt Lily: I’m Charlotte’s mother.

For a recap to this episode, check this entry.
For quotes from previous episode check our Quotable Quotes section.