Pushing Daisies

Olive: What’s that song again? Oh yeah: “I scream, you scream, we all scream I faked my own death”

Olive: Ned hates Halloween. Makes him moodier than a pumpkin full of PMS…In fact, when he sees all this, you are gonna be one sorry little zombie. Seriously, you are so…dead.

Emerson: Let’s consider it in escrow…between my thighs.

Olive: Yesterday, a ferrier named Lucas Shoemaker was found dead. Trampled.
Emerson: Why should I care about a dude that sells fur coats?
Olive: Not a furrier, a ferrier. Heir.
Emerson: Fair-rier?
Olive: It’s a blacksmith. Puts shoes on horses.
Emerson: Don’t try to act like that’s a word everybody knows.

Emerson: What did you compete about?
Olive: Promise you won’t laugh?
Emerson: No.
Olive: I used to be a professional horse jockey.
Emerson: Hahahahhahah! Hahahahah!

Emerson: Let me ask the money…(uses his hand as a phone) Hello, Money? Can I still pay the bills and buy stuff even though you were Olive’s money first? Uh-huh….okay, thanks. (Hangs up) The money doesn’t care.

Olive: Maybe John Joseph faked his death, people do that all the time.
Emerson: No, they don’t.
Olive: Yeah, they do. Sometimes they just don’t even try to cover it up, they just show up and ruin you life like nobody is gonna figure it out, but then you figure it out because you are not an idiot! Are you an idiot?
Emerson: No, because an idiot may misuderstand what you are saying and hit you with a shovel.
Olive: (whispering) I think you know.

Ned: I’ll go by the stables, see if the perp left any clues.
Chuck: You mean like protoplasm, or melted crucifixes?
Ned: Yeah. Or, you know, like real clues.

Emerson: There’s a legless skeleton of a horse in John Jacobs tomb, and Olive knows you’re dead.
Chuck: First of all, huh? And secondly, Olive thinks that I faked my death which is completely different to knowing that I’m dead.
Emerson: Yeah, different like purple and mauve.

Vivian: Halloween’s a busy time for us.
Lily: Some of the neighbourhood children started a rumour we were witches….They said we turn little boys into birds.
Ned: That’s…. terrible.
Bird: Sqawwwk. Help me! Help me!They turned me into a bird.
Vivian: Scares the willies out of them.

Vivian: I don’t know how we survived without it. It’s like a sex addiction…I would imagine.

Vivian: No one remembers your father, Ned. What they do talk about is how you turned out to be such a nice, wonderful boy. Man even.

Olive: How did you know I was single?
Mama Jacobs: You wouldn’t need all that bait if you’re belly were full of fish, dear.

Chuck: Sometimes you have to keep a secret, even if it mean hurting someone.
Olive: Exactly!…Dammit.

Chuck: What if his mood changes when his blood sugar drops?
Olive: You mean like a hypoglycemic werewolf?

Olive: Tell Ned I love…his pies.

Emerson: I love you, shovel.

Vivian: Is the clock right? It’s 2 in the AM!
Lily: I’ll get the gun
Vivian: And I’ll get the candy bowl

For a recap to this episode, check this entry.
For quotes from previous episode check our Quotable Quotes section.

Pushing Daisies, Pushing Daisies quotes, Pushing Daisies Girth