Pushing Daisies

Chuck: Which birthday should I celebrate? I’ve got two of them now. First day I was alive. First day I was alive again?
Ned: The one that requires less explanation.

Olive: Musing an idea of setting someone on fire doesn’t mean you really want to set someone on fire, it’s just the thought of it that makes you happy, but only for a second then you feel bad…but that second can be a lot of fun!

Emerson: That was the Truth Bus
Olive: That wasn’t the Truth Bus. That was the Bitchy Cross Town Express.

Ned: Chuck is private. Part of my private.

Coroner: I can write a book on hand moisturizer. Nobody wants the last thing they touch with to be ashy and dry.

Chuck: You won’t even know I’m here
Emerson: Cause you’re leaving?
Chuck: No…
Ned: C’mon it makes her happy….
Emerson: You remember what that happiness looks like.

Ned: Why are you still talking!
Emerson: I’m ripping off the band-aid!
Ned: I’m not a ripper, I pull up the corner a little a time and then I run it under warm water and then I pull up even more…it’s a process.
Emerson: Let it rip!

Alfredo: You seem decidedly unhappy
Olive: I didn’t “decided” that

Emerson: That was a business associate of mine, who do you think hooked us up with Corpse Bride?

Emerson: Whatever you say, Killer.

Ned: I’m sorry for what I did, it was mostly an accident, but partially on purpose.

Lawrence: Lonely tourist Charlotte Charles, are you part of my welcoming committee?
Chuck: More like a beneficiary in that I am still alive and you’re not.

Ned: It wasn’t personal. I didn’t pick you but it didn’t help that you were in the room.

Chuck: You stole that off my dead body?
Lawrence: Your dead body wasn’t doing anything with it.

Emerson: Anybody dead back there that shouldn’t be?
Ned: No
Emerson: Sweet.

Ned: Lewis Schaltz is a big fat liar. And I say fat in reference to his size as a liar and not as judgment to his physical appearance.

Emerson: I’m not a pirate, I’m just looking for treasure.

Olive: Beaver boy is a pie-maker? Who was Charlotte’s sweetheart…your niece? Lonely tourist Charlotte Charles? Who is dead? Presently?

Chuck: Mind over matter makes Pooh unfatter!
Emerson: I may be stuck, but I can still reach my gun.

Ned: I wanted to be a Jedi.

For a complete recap of the episode, The Fun In The Funeral, check this post.